Hare Dryer

A man walked into his garden one day to find his dog with a piece of dirty fur in its mouth.

Examination proved that the dirty piece of fur was actually a prize rabbit belonging to the neighbor. It was very dead, although no obvious injury could be seen.

The man was horrified and felt terrible.

He took the rabbit inside, shampooed and blow dried it, and then quickly snuck next door to put it back in the hutch before the neighbor got home.

A few days went by and he heard nothing. Then on the weekend he was talking over the fence to his neighbor, who he said that a strange thing had happened to him that week. When he came home from work one night he found his prize rabbit dead in its hutch.

“Oh, no,” says the man. “How awful!”

“That’s not the strange part,” says the neighbor. “What’s weird is that it had died earlier that morning and I buried it before going to work!”

Fun with the Microwave

When microwaves first started appearing in public homes there were many people not sure on the proper use of them.

People putting food in for way to long and placing inappropriate items in the oven caused fires.

Then there was the woman whose toy poodle, Fifi, had a run in with a skunk one chilly fall night. She bathed poor Fifi, first in tomato juice, and then in regular shampoo, then repeated the process. By the time she was done poor Fifi was shivering uncontrollably.

Carrying Fifi into the kitchen to warm up her eyes lit upon her new microwave that her husband had just bought her. She new that she could put in a plate of food on her microwave dishes and the food would come out warm and the dish still cool to the touch.

Wanting to spare poor Fifi any more traumas she reached for her largest microwave dish and placed Fifi in the oven. The time she placed Fifi on is subject to much debate, but it doesn’t really matter as anytime in a microwave is to long for a living dog. She opened the oven to “Fifi Flambe” and promptly had a nervous breakdown.

Look Behind You

It was a dark and foggy night. A young lady was having trouble staying awake while driving home at night. Her anxiety level was not helped by the fact that she was running low on gas and was lost.

Finally, a gas station appeared. She pulled in. The attendant made his way around the car and seemed to be very distracted as she asked him to fill it up, and even seemed to be making faces at her. He finally agreed to get the gas, but then asked her to pop the hood of the car because it “smelled like trouble.”

She felt uneasy because she was alone with this strange guy in a creepy gas station. He then asked her to come inside the office area to show her something. Not knowing what else to do, she did as he asked. He grabbed her arm and said “This car needs a tow, you’ll have to come with me into the office.”

Then he put his hand over her mouth and forced her into the office. She began to bite his hand once they were inside and he let her go. She ran from the attendant as fast as she could to the car and drove off. As she was driving away the gas station attend was shouting something but she couldn’t hear what it was.

The next morning her body was found with her head hacked off. It seems that the gas station attendant was trying to warn her that there was someone crouched behind her seat in the car.

(Sadly, though this story has been in circulation in one form or another for ages, there have been cases of attackers hiding in the backseat. Always lock all your car doors!)

What’s For Dinner?

Have you heard about the terrible thing that happened to that family across town? They were just moving into their new house and it was getting late and the family was hungry.

Due to a mix-up with the electric company, Mom could not cook and they were ready to retire soon anyway due to the increasing darkness.

Dad ran up to a local Fried Chicken establishment (Insert name of a Fast Food Chicken outlet here) and got a large bucket of chicken to bring home.

With just a few candles lit the family sat down to hungrily devour their dinner. Junior takes a bite and bitterly complains that his chicken tastes funny. Dad tells him to quit complaining and eat. Junior takes a tentative nibble and gags, grabbing for a candle to illuminate his dinner. He is horrified to discover he has been dining on a deep fried RAT!! His family sues the establishment and Junior is set for college and never eats by candlelight again! (How many times and versions of this one have you heard?

Choking Doberman

Here is an Urban Legend that has been around for many years.  The breed of dog changes, the ethnicity of those involve changes, but the theme is always the same.

A young woman arrives home from work to find her Doberman (Pit Bull, German Shepherd, etc.)  laying on the floor apparently choking.

She cannot see anything in the dog’s mouth and picks up the dog and rushes it to the veterinarian for emergency surgery.

She arrives home to a ringing phone and police sirens in the distance.

She runs in to pick up the phone and the veterinarian is on the other end telling her to get out of the house immediately, the police are on the way and will explain.

Just then a cruiser pulls up out front and the officers enter with guns drawn and one escorts her out of the house.  The officer explains that when the vet opened up the dog’s throat he found two fingers from a (insert ethnicity here).

The police follow a blood trail in the home and find the intruder in shock in the closet clutching his hand missing the two fingers.

Yet Another Fast Food Urban Legend

Here is yet another fast food urban legend.  Now with the rat from the chicken restaurant you can get…

This girl was really in a hurry one day so she just stopped off at a taco joint and got a soft taco and ate it on the way home.  Well that night she noticed her jaw was kind of tight and swollen.

The next day it was a little worse so she went to her doctor.  He said she was just having an allergic reaction to something and gave her some cream to rub on her jaw to help.

After a couple of days the swelling had just gotten worse and she could hardly move her jaw.  She went back to her doctor to see what was wrong.  Her doctor had no idea so he started to run some test.  They scrubbed out the inside of her mouth to get tissue samples and they also took some saliva samples.  Well, they found out what was wrong.

Apparently her soft taco had a pregnant roach in it!!!!  The eggs then somehow got into her saliva glands and, well, she was incubating them.  They had to remove a couple layers of her inner mouth to get all the eggs out.  If they hadn’t of figured out what was going on the eggs would have hatched inside the lining of her mouth!

Lost in the Internet

A young man who became lost in the internet is now feared dead, say police.

They fear that his Central Processing Unit may have become fused with his Internet Service Provider’s router, sending him pinging interminably from site to site.  Brian Jakes of Wichita, Kansas, was last seen by his parents Bob and Mathilda, last Thursday, happily surfing about the internet.

Around midnight Mrs Jakes heard a very loud noise from Brian’s modem, and when she went to investigate found a glowing blue pile of electro-magnetic embers on his chair.  All of the modem’s lights were flashing, and it seemed to be playing a midi version of Weird Al Yankovic’s Eat It.

She said he had recently been wiring himself directly into the computer’s sound system through headphones.  Local electronics expert Pete Phreak says it could be a case of Spontaneous Modem Fission, where the remaining contents of Brian’s CPU were sucked into his computer’s, then fed through the modem to the router.

“Our main fear now is that he’ll get pinged to an ‘adult entertainment’ site, where he’ll be auto-refreshed out of existence,” says Mr Phreak.

He might also be routed to a games site, where he risks being assassinated by Doom ‘freaks’, or a chat site, where he could be killed by the flood of pheromones surging down the line.

Local police chief Jasper Wiggum said they had taken Brian’s computer to pieces, but found no trace of him, and feared the worse.  Mr Phreak said the scenario was all but hopeless.  “There would be bits of him all over the place.  One small hope is that the search engines might index him.  Of course, he’d have to submit himself to Google, but the others might pick him up somehow.”  Mrs Jakes admitted Brian had been spending a lot of time surfing the internet, but denied that it had become a problem.  “Sure, he would twitch at the breakfast table, and he had started to use his mouse as a fork, but what 19-year-old doesn’t,” she asked.  She said she would now start surfing to try to find her son, but would wear Anti-Modem Devices, such as magnets, and other protective clothing.

Urban Legend Electronic Art Gallery

Want to see your favorite Urban Legend as portrayed by an electronic artist?

Then point your browser to  http://www.wdog.com/legends/gallery.htm to see reproductions of such famous legends as:

  • The Tire
  • The KidneyThief
  • Headlight Vanish
  • The Note
  • Bad Neighbor
  • Letter Home

There is information on purchasing these pieces if you so desire.  A warning some people may find some of the images disturbing.  Please view at your own discretion.

Folklore vs. Urban Legend

I will set down a tale…  it may be history, it may be only a legend, a tradition.  It may have happened, it may not have happened.  But it could have happened….

- Mark Twain

What is the difference between Folklore and an Urban Legend?  Not much really!  Time is really the key factor and the fact that it COULD HAVE happened in our era.  The Urban Legend abbreviation FOAF attest to that fact with its meaning “friend of a friend” as in “this happened to a friend of a friend of mine” or insert a relative, etc.

Urban Legends may be a new spin on an old folktale, such as The Vansihing Hitchiker tale, (TVH as it is abbreviated in Urban Legend circles) which can be found in folk lore books taking place with a horse and buggy and now takes place in an automobile.

Free Airfare Baby

Have you heard that if a pregnant woman gives birth on (insert name of an airline company here) the baby will get free airfare for life?

This urban legend has happened to many friends of friends, it is a wonder anyone has to pay for air fare any more!  The story usually goes something like this…

My cousin’s hairdresser’s sister was pregnant but not due for 3 weeks when she decided to fly to her home state for her baby to be born there and so her family could help her as her husband could not get off work.  During the flight she started having labor pains and she was moved to the back of the plane but it was not expected that she would give birth before they landed.

A doctor was gotten on the plane’s radio and information was relayed on what to do.  Luckily there was a (EMT, Paramedic, nurse, etc) on board to help and the baby was born as they circled the airport for a landing.

The whole plane cheered as they heard the first cries of the baby and the airline announced that the baby would have free air fare for the rest of her/his life.

Several airlines have been contacted by different people as this legend comes up and not one has been found to support it.  Most say that a woman within a month of her due date must have a letter from her doctor so that she may travel.

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